Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Howsitgonark...
So, I've been realizing in the last month that I have a tendency to try and avoid awkwardness in a pretty ridiculous way. I mean, I know that no one enjoys awkward situations, and that most people try not to create them. But for me, I have this almost innate, systematic response that not only tries to get out of awkward social situations, but also somehow calculates the potential risk of awkwardness developing in situations, and then reacts based on that calculation. Let me give you two actual scenarios that have happenned recently in order to explain what I mean. (The real names of people involved have been omitted...maybe...)
SCENARIO #1: I recently went to a church service with a group of people who will remain anonymous...we'll call them "my immediate family." As we entered the lobby, I saw a friend of a mutual friend whom I'd met and talked with a few times before. Naturally, after we greeted on another, we asked about each other's summers. Now, I was under the impression that this friend of a friend, whom we'll call "Friend of a Friend", had gotten married in the last couple of months, because I had happenned to confuse "Friend of a Friend's" name with another friend of the same friend (phew!) who actually had gotten married. So, with who appeared to be Friend of a Friend's husband standing nearby, I asked the obvious question: "How was the wedding?" "What do you mean?" was Friend of a Friend's surprised response. "Which wedding? (referring to friends of a friend that had been recently married)" Here's where my acute antiawkarditis kicked in. You see, a perfectly reasonable reaction would have been to laugh and say something like, "Oh, my mistake, I thought you had gotten married." But no. In a split second, I realized that she wasn't married, and that I was wrong, and so I quickly and smoothly said, "Well, both of them. 'Friend' said they were fun." I didn't even really think...it just happenned. I basically lied to avoid possible embarassment. And I was good at it.
SCENARIIO #2: I'm currently working in the same bio-tech plant that my father has worked in for the past 15 years, so a lot of co-workers know who I am because of past company family events. The thing is, I don't know who a lot of them are. I'm trying really hard to match names with faces, but there are still a lot of employees who I couldn't feel confident calling by name. So, I'm walking into the plant this afternoon, and a I see a co-worker leaving the plant, who's name I think is Mark. Now, I know "Mark" has called me by my name several times before, so I'm embarassed by the thought of just saying, "Hey...you", or by having to actually ask his name. So once again, my subconscious anti-awkward powers came into play. Instead of not greeting him at all, or greeting him without using a name, or greeting him while confidently guessing that his name was Mark, I did all three at once. I mumbled something like, "Hiowsitgonark." That way, if I was wrong about his name, maybe he wouldn't know. And if I as right, what's there to lose? Except, I didn't consider the fact that what I said sounded nothing like intelligible English.
So, all that to say I feel pretty ridiculous realizing that I've developed an unnatural fear of embarassment. Why? I don't know. But at least now you know to tell me your name if I say something that sounds Russian.
SCENARIO #1: I recently went to a church service with a group of people who will remain anonymous...we'll call them "my immediate family." As we entered the lobby, I saw a friend of a mutual friend whom I'd met and talked with a few times before. Naturally, after we greeted on another, we asked about each other's summers. Now, I was under the impression that this friend of a friend, whom we'll call "Friend of a Friend", had gotten married in the last couple of months, because I had happenned to confuse "Friend of a Friend's" name with another friend of the same friend (phew!) who actually had gotten married. So, with who appeared to be Friend of a Friend's husband standing nearby, I asked the obvious question: "How was the wedding?" "What do you mean?" was Friend of a Friend's surprised response. "Which wedding? (referring to friends of a friend that had been recently married)" Here's where my acute antiawkarditis kicked in. You see, a perfectly reasonable reaction would have been to laugh and say something like, "Oh, my mistake, I thought you had gotten married." But no. In a split second, I realized that she wasn't married, and that I was wrong, and so I quickly and smoothly said, "Well, both of them. 'Friend' said they were fun." I didn't even really think...it just happenned. I basically lied to avoid possible embarassment. And I was good at it.
SCENARIIO #2: I'm currently working in the same bio-tech plant that my father has worked in for the past 15 years, so a lot of co-workers know who I am because of past company family events. The thing is, I don't know who a lot of them are. I'm trying really hard to match names with faces, but there are still a lot of employees who I couldn't feel confident calling by name. So, I'm walking into the plant this afternoon, and a I see a co-worker leaving the plant, who's name I think is Mark. Now, I know "Mark" has called me by my name several times before, so I'm embarassed by the thought of just saying, "Hey...you", or by having to actually ask his name. So once again, my subconscious anti-awkward powers came into play. Instead of not greeting him at all, or greeting him without using a name, or greeting him while confidently guessing that his name was Mark, I did all three at once. I mumbled something like, "Hiowsitgonark." That way, if I was wrong about his name, maybe he wouldn't know. And if I as right, what's there to lose? Except, I didn't consider the fact that what I said sounded nothing like intelligible English.
So, all that to say I feel pretty ridiculous realizing that I've developed an unnatural fear of embarassment. Why? I don't know. But at least now you know to tell me your name if I say something that sounds Russian.
# posted by G-rant @ 3:17 PM 
